Wednesday, October 27, 2010

In which Dreamy fills me with rage

This week, Dreamy crossed the line for the first time from mildly annoying to infuriating. It happened on Monday, after an amazing weekend together, when I awoke to a long late-night/early-morning email from him. After writing lots of nice things about how sweet I am, how lucky he feels to have me in his life, how much fun he had with me over the weekend, and how he can't wait to see me again, he dropped the bombshell: Once again, he screwed up his schedule and will be unable to help me move this coming weekend.

He went on to tell me how bad he feels about this, to propose coming some evening during the week to help me pack, and to ask if there was anything else he could do to make up for his mistake, but it made no difference. I saw red. Last weekend when he canceled on me I kept thinking, "It's annoying, but the important thing is he'll be here to help me next weekend when I most need it." I felt confident that after making this mistake before he had checked his calendar to make sure he was really free next weekend. Nope, turns out he didn't. He just went right ahead and did the same thing all over again. Luckily, the Sensitive Bostonian and his brother are planning to help me, as is my sister, so I'll be fine. Still, Dreamy didn't know that.

I could have written him an email in reply that started, "Dear Dreamy, I feel frustrated to learn that once again you have made a promise you can't keep. It makes it feel hard to depend on you." But I didn't. I was too angry to express myself diplomatically. Plus, it was six in the morning when I got his email. So instead I fired off the following:


To be clear, when you say "It turns out that I have two full-day events..." what you actually mean is, "I have two events that have been scheduled months in advance, but when I promised to help you move I didn't check my calendar." Correct?

That's really lame that this happened two weeks in a row.


I sent off my friendly missive, then texted my friend Slinky: "You're not going to believe it. Dreamy bailed on me AGAIN. Should I break up with him?" She texted me back to tell me that seemed a bit hasty; yes, it's annoying, but is it really breakup-worthy? I wrote her more about what happened and my frustration with him, and included a copy of the email I had sent, which gave her pause: "Geez! You really sent this to him? It's so snippy and unlike you!" Well, what can I say. I DO have a temper; after all, I once bit my ex-boyfriend La Moustache! However, I only get angry when seriously provoked.

Eventually, Dreamy and I talked, and I apologized to him for my mean email and he apologized for being such a flake. We agreed that in the future when we make plans I will ask him if he checked his calendar to make sure he's really free, and if I get annoyed with him I will call him to tell him I am angry, because mean emails make him feel very, very bad. Then he laughed and said, "What was it that you called me? Lame? I have to say, you are right. That was really, really lame."

Last night during intermission at the symphony, I asked him if he is going to come over Friday to help me finish my packing. He said yes, then paused. "Hold on, let me check my calendar," he added, as he pulled out his phone. "Yep, looks like I'm free on Friday!" He tucked the phone back in his pocket.

"Dreamy," I asked, "Don't you think you should write down now that we have a date so you won't make other plans for Friday?" "Oooh, good idea!" he exclaimed as he pulled his phone out again to follow my instructions.

Isn't it just amazing how the smartest, most successful people can be missing such basic common sense sometimes??


  1. Oy. Why do I feel like women are so much more often the person in the relationship with the planner they use... the one who figure out what's for dinner... the one who makes the travel arrangements for the weekends away? I wish this were a trend we could all break. Sounds like Dreamy is trying though :)

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