August on the Internet

Things have been slow on the Internet lately (hence the lack of blog posts). Actually, a better word to describe how things have been is "depressing." I've been getting a bunch of messages that I'm tempted to respond to only because I think I could get a good blog post out of it, but I don't because it's not worth the pain. A few examples:

I am an experience Dom in Boston. I'd love to get coffee or hit a Patriots game :) I play bass guitar and do stand up comedy. What's your messenger? 

Master Frank

So many questions. Is it typical for an experienced Dom to suggest coffee or a football game for a first date? Is his stand-up comedy about being a Dominator? Is Dominator even the right word? And does he really think an elementary school teacher is the person who'd be likely to take him up on this offer??

Then there was this one:

Hi, 
Wow!! Your Bio made me smile all the way through. Your more than what any man could ever hope for all wrapped in one!!! I enjoyed reading about how you enjoy life. It sounds like you love life's little pleasures, and you express it very well. I didn't get the memo regarding women like you exist. I have heard story's about a perfectly well rounded women. Then again I heard stories of Bigfoot. There's only a grainy picture for proof. ahahhahahahhhahha
You sound like an amazing lady. 
Good luck on your search. 

I hope your having a great day. 

This from a dead ringer for Fabio. Any bets as to how many women he sent this message to?

Then there was the pithy classic:

Dude. You're hot

to which I was tempted to respond: Dude. You sound dumb

In addition to these charming missives, I've been going on a few dates. Most of the dates are the type where I am sure 15-30 seconds in that this guy is not for me, and he probably reaches the same conclusion shortly thereafter, possibly because I'm not at my most charming because I am turned off on many levels. We go through the motions, both wishing we could cut things short but feeling like that would be too rude. Often as we're talking my mind drifts to Leif Ericson, and I think how much more I liked him than the guy in front of me, then berate myself for still thinking about him. At the end, we awkwardly say goodbye with no mention of a second date.

I did have one date recently that was different. I received his message while I was on vacation with my family in Maine, and immediately called my sister over to say, "Can you believe this guy emailed me??" Not only is he four years younger than me, but he also looks like he just stepped off the pages of a JCrew catalogue. Pearly white teeth, pale blue eyes, rugged jaw. And he's tall and fit, and to top it all off he's also a really good guy who loves to compost, go on long bike adventures, cook dinner with his parents, go hiking, and he used to be a schoolteacher! I would think that a guy like that would have large-chested, leggy 25-year-olds chasing him down the streets of Boston.

So I was not thinking about Leif during my date with the young hottie. Instead, I was thinking, "I cannot believe I am out on a date with his young hottie. And he's actually nice and funny, too." I didn't come away from it feeling super excited or like it would be easy to imagine his as my boyfriend, but I did have a good time with him.

There was no mention of a second date, and I haven't heard from him since. But my motto for the day, courtesy of a text message I received from my new roommate, is "Be bold." So I am going to go ahead and email him. I'll be shocked if he wants to go out with me again, but what the hell, I've got nothing to lose.