Friday, June 4, 2010

On the radio

I heard an interview with Ayelet Waldman on the radio today that filled my head almost to bursting with things I wanted to blog about. I started listening mid-broadcast, and before I even knew who I was listening to, I was thinking, "I hope I have a relationship someday with the same level of emotional intimacy that she has with her husband." Also, "It's possible that none of the men I've dated in my whole history of dating have been capable of having that kind of relationship." Then I realized that I was listening to Ayelet Waldman and that not only is she wonderful and talented, but she is married to the amazing Michael Chabon, possibly my favorite author ever. (There are probably a few other people I'd say that about too, but it doesn't make it any less true.) No wonder they have a great marriage.

Waldman got in trouble a few years back by writing in the New York Times that she loves her husband more than she loves her children, which led to quite a hue and cry. She also mentioned the hot sex she has with her husband in the article, and I have to say that it kind of pissed me off back in the fall when I was recently heartbroken. Now I'm less bitter, and while I agree with her criticism of herself that she was probably oversharing when she wrote that, I find it kind of endearing. I love the fact that Chabon and Waldman are so open about their imperfections.

Other thoughts that I had during the interview:
  • Am I manic depressive? Apparently Waldman is, and she says that manic depressives are oversharers and are responsible for many of the oversharing-but-fascinating blogs and memoirs out there. I can't necessarily claim to be fascinating, but I am definitely an oversharer, or as my friend Miami Nice puts it, I'm afflicted with diarrhea of the mouth. Is it possible to be manic depressive minus the depressive part of it?
  • Am I Jewish? She mentioned spending hours worrying about things she had no control over, like which of her parents could handle being left alone if the other one died, and chalked her worrying up to being Jewish. Well, Ayelet, call me a shiksa, but I worry about things like that, too.
  • Am I going to have to have a horrible, traumatic abortion because I'm getting old and my fetus will be faulty? This happened to Ayelet when she had just turned 35, and she chalked it up to her age. It wasn't clear if the fetus would have problems, but it had a genetic defect and there was a good chance; she wanted to abort, her husband didn't. She won, and described the awful details of having an abortion at 16 weeks and then plunging into a deep depression that lasted for months. It was especially disheartening because I am turning 31 soon and will be lucky to be pregnant by 35, given the lack of a baby daddy in my life at the moment. The good news is that she went on to have two more babies, for a total of four.
  • Are there any other men out there who are as great as Michael Chabon?
She has a new book out entitled "Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace." Check it out.

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