Monday, September 16, 2013

Damn Red Sox

I have been to one professional baseball game in my life. It was a Yankees game, circa 2003. The Yankees were playing a generic-sounding team called something like the Cowboys or the Rockets, probably from somewhere in the Midwest or maybe Texas. I'm not sure who won, partly because it was really hard to pay attention, and partly because we left before the end. About five innings in I asked my friend how many innings there are in a baseball game, and was shocked by her answer. (Nine, in case anyone is not aware. Excessive, I know.)

These days, though, I practically have the Red Sox schedule memorized. I consult it constantly, not because I've adapted to my new city, but because home games make my commute a living hell. On game days I scoot out of work like I have a swarm of bees chasing me. Or plan my social life so that I'm out with friends far away in Somerville or somewhere like that and don't have to come home till after the traffic has cleared up.

Yesterday I reported to my sister excitedly that this is the last week of home games.

"Right, but then there will be the post-season," she responded matter-of-factly.

"Post-season??!" I answered, horrified. "What is that? I thought the season was over!"

"The Red Sox are doing really well this year, not like last year," she explained patiently. "They're gonna be in the play-offs."

And people think this is GOOD news?! Don't get me wrong, I'm a Red Sox fan in theory, just like the next guy. But the season has already been going on for, like, 8 months already; isn't that enough baseball for one city?

Clearly, four years in I am still not quite a Bostonian.

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