Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Dog days

I've been going on lots of dates. Yesterday, I managed to squeeze in two in the same day -- in two different states, no less.

The second date was with a dog, Petunia. There was also a man with the dog: Leif Ericson. Petunia and Leif were both great dates. Leif was tall, handsome, gentle, and very smart. Petunia was sweet, interactive, interested in me, and not afraid to get cuddly on a first date. (To clarify, Leif doesn't actually own Petunia. He was taking care of her for a friend who is away.)

The date started out on the Esplanade, a gorgeous park I spend far too little time visiting. I had told Leif that it would have to be a short date, so after an hour or so there, he asked if I could get a drink or if I had to head home. Suddenly, my schedule seemed much more open than I had previously thought, and I told him I was in no rush whatsoever to get home.

So, the three of us moseyed over to the Liberty Hotel for a beer. (Watching the sunset on the Esplanade + beers at the Liberty Hotel = fantastic date, if anyone is looking for ideas.) After we had been there for a while, Leif got up to go to the restroom. Suddenly, some Italian tourists noticed Petunia. "Ciao!" they shrieked, running over, and proceeded to basically French kiss the overwhelmed pup. (As a non-dog person, this behavior is totally alien to me, but I know most dog lovers indulge in it all the time.) "Dammi un bacio sulla bocca, amore mio!" they chorused, "Give me a kiss on the mouth, my love!" Wow, Italians sure don't hold back. When I asked them where they were from, they pretended briefly to be interested in the fact that I speak Italian, but it was clear I was merely a distraction from their true interest.

After a few minutes of this, Petunia became so overwhelmed that she jumped up onto my chair and curled into a semicircle around my body, trying futilely to hide behind my back. When my date returned he found us like that, me with my arms around her to try to comfort her, the Italians still hanging around hoping to get her to come out and give them more French kisses and expressing their undying love for her.

All of this left me feeling a little hollow. I've been feeling awfully popular, what with all the dates, but clearly my popularity pales in comparison to Petunia's. Maybe I need to rent a dog for dates to increase my popularity.

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